Wednesday, August 16, 2006

the ' Amazing Alcoholic'

with your host for the week, Roshan,
Welcome to another exciting episode of the " AMAZING ALCOHOLIC ", join Nic and his friends this weekend in Rhodes has he does what he does best, whilst his mates must find him before the end of the night.....

(The following is a recollection of various parts of the story pieced together to achieve an almost accurate account of the night)

So, 12.30 - beer tent. Nic, Erin and myself joined Lisa and the rest of the lovely Malboro girls in the Beer tent for a few drinks before the rugby, which we barely watched even when it was on. Okay, so things were getting toasty bout an hour or two in, (roughly bout 8 beers in.) Nicholas, now is breaching the memory bracket, as he was found applying vodka to his beers ( it is still unknown where the vodka supply came from). His face and blue attire now labelled with pirate markings and various scribble - He is ready to take on Rhodes.... and there he goes.....

Right so there i was, waiting to meet him outside at the rugby, but this was the last i saw of Nico for the next couple hours,until he 'magically' turned up bout after 3hrs, no one knew where he had gone, i doubt he did. By now, all well intoxicated, we sat outside talking to arb strangers, whilst nic announces his sport of preference, (for his sake, i wont put it on here). Fortuanately, before things escalated, Jono escorted nic back to the hotel to hopefully coax him into passing out... the animal was calmed for now. We then all stumbled back to the hotel later for some recharging - there was a long night ahead still. Around 6.30 or so, i awoke to the not so delightful sounds of one inhebriated nic smith attemting to open my door. The beast had awoken.

NIC CAM - 5.30 - He rises from his deep slumber, the yearning for more beer drives him to the hotel bar. Still, well intoxicated, he joins an old afrikaans couple at the bar for some rather intresting chat and a couple of beers. Erin then eventually finds Nic, who is informing the elderly gentleman of the amazingly big shit he took before he came downstairs.... They then return upstairs to wake me.

So i get ready, feeling as frought an expired Laat Oes Doos. We then walk to town, heading for Friar Tucks. Now just Erin, nic and myself, this was the most intresting walk EVER ever. Nic, too drunk to stand still, was all over the place while we try to keep him calm, he resembled that of a popular Mary Poppins scene as jedi master Nic swung around every light pole, street sign, and post box along the way, jumping off front doors of shops, and swinging off trees!!!! an ANIMAL!!, he scared off the locals that we walked past, people across the road were having a laugh, people who drove past even SLOWED DOWN to check this out! now... lets face it, for people to actually stop and laugh at some one who's drunk at Rhodes is pretty amazing, coz peops are always drunk there. But this was something else, as we got nearer to the club, nic tries to steal a sign which stood infront of someones place, while the door was open, and they were watching....fortuanately i stopped him, and eventually, we arrived at Friars. Two drinks into the night, Erin and myself decide its too risky to have Nico running loose, so ring up Lisa to ask if she wants him, (she happened to be working and asked nicely if we could look after him), so wen i returned back to erin, Erin was sitting alone, at peace, enjoying his Black label. It turned out, Erin gave nic the room keys and told him to go home.... i thought oh shit how is nic going to go home?? he doesnt even know he's at Rhodes.

NIC CAM - 7.00 - Nic proceeds upstairs in Friars without us knowing to finish his drink on the couchs, while we all looking for him. He then leaves, this part of his journey is unknown.
FRIEND CAM - Erin and myself start looking for nic, but are then caught by the 'Vodka and Mix R6' special which is going down, we must have had bout 5 rounds before we remembered nic was missing. So i try to call him again, he eventually answers telling me he is lost, and i must tell him where he is??? ya... ok, anyway i get him to describe where he is (which was hard to decipher with the slurrr) , turns out there are no buildings around him, just trees, - but there are no parks in Grahamstown - where the bloody hell did nic go??? We call lisa, and she said had spoken to nic, and he is going to meet her at the Drill Hall.So we call Nico one more time , tho he's still lost, on the road 'somewhere' at the corner of some streets. So erin and my self try to find the street, but the one doesnt seem to exist???So Eball and my self carry on to the Drill hall, when we get there turns out its a R40 entrance, not worth it... So lisa come out, but nics not here yet. She then calls him, to find out where he is, turns out he is on a bike with some guy, and they heading to the drill hall. Erin and i look for other ways into the drill hall, after scaling a 5 meter gate, we get in, kind of unnoticed. We have a few more drinks there - note, no Nic yet - we all then leave to go back to Friars, before they close doors, erin and my self head off, and Lisa and crew are supposed to meet us there. Lisa calls nic once more, and he's apparently at the Union building?? Where it all started - the Beer Tent. Anyway, we all stay at Friars till nights end.

NIC CAM - 7.30 - After Nic left Friars, nic attempts to join Lisa at the Drill Hall, on the way meeting up with a friend Warick, they venture off to steers for a bite to eat. Standing outside steers, Nic decides its a good idea to hop on to the back of a stationary bakkie, attempting to convince warick to join him. Soon the bakkie takes off... with nic latched to the back. It heads out of town towards the main highway intersection. At the intersection the bakkie stops, where nic jumps off, out of town. This is about the time i call him, when he is walking back through the park near the highway. He eventually makes his way back to the road, where someone on a motor bike picks him up, and brings him back into town.Ya nic, just ONE tequila short of waking up in another town

So, eventually, after being dropped off at the Union building, nic makes it to the destination he intially set off to find - The Drill hall - and goes home from there by 11pm. Kids, alcohol is bad for you....

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